Life is Flowers

On a much needed lighter note.

We have undertaken the completely futile task of potty training Isabel, although our approach has been far to passive for the likes of many, we move forward nonetheless in our attempts to reduce our daycare costs (There’s a non-potty-trained-child premium).  However slowly, I mean ssssssllllllllooooooowwwwwwwwlllllllllyyyyyyyyy, there has been progress.  In fact even last night our little Isabel amazed us all with a feat that would rival even the best of the boys.

I stepped briefly out of the bathroom to continue a conversation with Edie (clearly lying on the couch eating Bon-Bon’s contemplating her next diabolical scheme to rid the world of mean people,while simultaneously pondering the ramifications of Sharon’s incarceration in a mental hospital while still not telling Nick that he is the father of her unborn child, not to mention answering all the Jeopardy questions before Alex could even finish reading the answer.)  I was not abandoning our daughter to the confines of our non-kid-friendly bathroom unprotected from the dangers of mildew and an overflowing mini-trashcan.  She had a roll of toilet paper to protect herself from any danger she would be facing.  Or, so I thought.

“Daddy, lookee I poop-eed. I poop-eed daddy.”

I revved up my fatherly excitement on my fine abilities to potty train a toddler while barely doing more then helping her steady herself while she takes off her diaper.  Yes, folks I am a stellar dad that few, neigh any can compare with.  My potty training skills will be famous around the world.  I will have book deals and the multitudes will line up eagerly awaiting for me to sign their portable toddler toilet seats.  They will put my face on the back of bathroom doors everywhere as a sign of encouragement for toddlers……..Hmmmm, okay let’s not put my face in every bathroom in the known world.  That would just be disturbing.

I went to the bathroom to help out with the unmentionable duty necessary post poopy.  Isabel kept pointing at the “poopy”, alas I saw nothing…..at first.

Uh Oh!  What’s all over the floor? and the toilet seat?  and her leg?  And mommy’s Edward and Bill Entertainment Weekly?  In fact two whole feet plus away from the toilet?!?

Ahhhh haa!  My little girl can whiz just like the boys, and she’s got distance!

Yeah, what proud moments of fatherhood and embarassing stories for her wedding day.