Men will forever be punished for pregnancy by forcing them to endure nine months of complete emotional instability, irrational behavior, unquenchable cravings, and complete psychosis. Oh, and let’s not forget the constant reminder of every pain the woman feels and the constant reminder of how tired they are. “Honey can you do all the chores, I’m making our baby and that is really hard work.” Yeah, that looks real hard from where I’m standing. Look at me, I’m sitting on the couch drinking beers watching sports, and look at how fast that new deck is going up.
To make matters worse, while the man tries to keep his distance and stay out of the woman’s cross-hairs, the woman just wants to keep the man closer, she wants to cuddle more and hear sweet nothings to know that she’s still loved (that’s just more ‘emotional instability’). In reality that closeness is just a clever disguise to continue to submit the man to the slew of irrational behaviors a pregnant women forces upon anyone within a twenty foot radius.
Only 239 days, nine hours, fourteen minutes, and three point five seconds to go. Not that I’m counting. 
Said Mommy Inc. - “What do you think I can take in the car to throw up in?”
The bigger question is, “after you do, what do you use to get that smell out of the car?” Might have to get a new car, or maybe line the entire dash with little pine tree air freshners. I doubt even that will be enough.
“For the next nine months you don’t even exist. You’re just an incubator.”
On July 15, 2009 Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince hit U.S. Theatres. However, its launch was a bit lackluster as it was overshadowed by events occurring in a small rural town seventy-five miles west of the Nation’s Capital. Early in the morning Michael and Edie were pleasantly surprised with the discovery that their daughter Isabel would soon have a brother or sister. The couple will announce the details to family and friends shortly, and apologize to the movie studio for affecting their opening day numbers for what many thought was going to be a strong opening for the Harry Potter franchise, but quite frankly thinks the world will find their news much more fascinating than any movie, except maybe Star Trek, but even then probably not even Star Trek. The new bundle of joy is due March 24, 2010.
